Overcoming Uncertainty

Write down a major life goal you have yet to achieve or even begin to take action on. For each goal, write down three uncertainties (read: fears) you have relating to each goal. Break it down further, and write down three reasons for each uncertainty. When you have three reasons for your fear, you’ll be able to start processing the change because you know where the fear stems from. Now you’ll be able to make a smaller changes that push you towards your larger goal. So begins the process of “trusting yourself.”   (Author: Sean Ogle)

A major life goal for me would be to find a job/career that I love so much that it doesn’t feel like work.  I love teaching, but there are so many aspects of it that make it unbearable lately.  As I wake up this morning, the second day of vacation, I find this prompt most interesting.  Overcoming uncertainty (pertaining to the job) is something that has been on my mind for the past week.  As I ended a school year, learning of a new boss coming this fall, I am left wondering if things will get better.  It has been an unbelievably horrific five years there.  Will this trend continue?  Will the new person appreciate and take notice of the wonderful staff that is already present?  If not, will I be able to continue on there or will I have to do something that I have never wanted to do – leave in the middle of the school year?

As in previous posts about my workplace drama, it really sucks when you have to go to a place you absolutely loathe.  But the bills have to be paid, so you do what you have to do.  I am envious when I hear people talk about how much they like their boss.  I’m even envious of the ones who simply tolerate their boss.  I had to develop coping mechanisms to deal with the crap that was dished out every day at that place.  I am still not fully in vacation mode yet.  I’m de-escalating.

I would like to see that new person come in and truly make changes for the better.  What we do is not about promoting ourselves to better positions but in promoting and preparing young minds.  Making productive citizens.

I am hoping that the new person will take into account the talent AND experience that our staff brings to the table.  That has been overlooked and denied over the past years.  Many of us have been made to feel that we are warm bodies there to babysit a roomful of children.  When we attempted to “shine”, it was not acknowledged or severely criticized.

I am hoping that the days of public reprimands are over.  I am an adult that should be treated with respect.  If this new person comes in and it is the same old stuff as before, I am quite sure that I will not be able to stomach it anymore and will have to pack it up.

I am still working on this uncertainty because it is new.  We were not sure until just last week if that old boss was coming back or not.  That was bringing on a whole new set of fears and concerns.  Now that we know this person is gone, we are faced with many questions.  I am in such a “prepare for the worst” mentality about the whole situation.  I’m hoping that these summer months will help ease that and that my curiosity will be quenched.


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