Fault and Change

Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be?   (Author: Carlos Miceli)

I’ve heard it said that when you point the finger of blame at someone you have 3 fingers pointing back at you.  Makes you think.  How can you blame someone for something if you’re not willing to see your part in it too?  Many times we do not want to take ownership of the mess that is our lives.  It’s easier to blame someone else for doing this or that to you.  We are in control of ourselves and should act accordingly.  There are times when things do happen that are out of our control, but sometimes even then, if we had made a different decision in the first place that “bad” thing might not have happened.

Surely my dissatisfaction with my job is of my own doing.  I should have left that place a long time ago.  But silly me,  I had hope that it would get better and now look at the mess I’m in.  I’m beginning to see that I have to hone in on my decision making skills.  I have made some improvements and can see that in the things that I am doing now.  I don’t blame that boss for what has been done to me.  I know that person has been responsible for some of the horrific ordeals I  and many of my coworkers have had to endure.  But  I also know that we made the conscious decision to stay there when we saw the crap hitting the fan.

I believe in relationships we have to let those involved know when something is not working for us.  I believe there must be an open line of communication.  If not, things can go awry.  You can not fault someone for doing/saying something that bothers you if you do not let them that it is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.  Once you do and if it continues, you must decide to stay in it or leave it behind.  If you decide to stay, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Those annoying friends, don’t you just love them?  I’m sure I’m in someone’s category as the annoying friend too…lol.  True friendship can survive annoyances.  A friend loves you no matter what.  Sometimes it could very well be those annoyances that attracts the friendship.    I have friends who like to “fix” people.  Good luck with that!  Take me as I am or leave me be – that’s my motto.  I will listen to suggestions for making the friendship more pleasing.  However,  if it is something I am not willing to change, then the friendship might be doomed.  Again, there should be an open line of communication.  I have some friendships that are on indefinite hold, caught in the “what the hell is going on here” abyss.  I can take the blame for my part in that.  I have tried to reach out, but to no avail.  I will not play the blame game, but simply move on with life as usual.  I do still hold hope that one day things will work out.

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