Life Truly Does Go On…

Recently two people very close to me have lost their mothers.  Both losses have effected me because they were people who I was close to as well.  This also opens a wound for me that seems to never heal completely.  That wound is the loss of a parent.  No one knows the impact until it happens to them.  You can not even imagine the pain and emptiness.  The sentiments and actions of people, although very appreciated, really don’t mean much.  Until you have suffered this loss you have no idea.

I lost my father a few years back and it seems like yesterday.  We were so close, I always have been that self-proclaimed “Daddy’s Girl” that you’ve heard about.  There is a piece of my heart that belongs to him forever.

I really feel for my loved ones because they don’t really understand yet that there are some very dark days ahead.  It’s a part of the grieving process that they saw me go through and they didn’t understand then.  I even had one of them say that to me directly.  I am going to be there for them because I really didn’t have a support system when I lost my father.  I know this road they will travel.

Death is a part of life and we have to face it.  Going through the gamut of emotions is the worst part at the beginning.  There is a sense of relief because you know your loved one is no longer suffering (if they were sick/injured).  There is some peace of mind in that.  But then you get angry because just when you think you’re okay, something happens (a holiday, birthday, pictures, etc.) that jolts you into the reality that your loved one is gone from this life.  You miss them something terrible.  Sometimes the pain is indescribable.

In the midst of it all, you realize that life truly does go on.  The grief and all that comes with it will be there, but work, bills, responsibilities, etc. will be there too.  You must get on with your life and somehow try to figure out how to move through the loss.  I have found that there is no time line in which things get better.  It varies with each one of us.  I simply tell those who have recently suffered a great loss to take it one minute at a time.  Sometimes with a profound loss, the minutes feel like days…


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